| R4ND0M | * I Want Cuddle.

Have you ever think of leaving the one you loved?

Have you ever think of leaving the one you closed with?

Frankly, I NEVER.

People used to told me that I'm an independent individual.

No I dont agree with that, because it depends.

I might be independent when it comes to working as promoter,

I might be independent when it comes to eating alone in a restaurant.

But I'm not, when I have my family members with me, when my boyfriend with me and my close friends with me.

I am very, very rely on them.

Seriously, I could be so sick of missing my country home when I arrive UK.

I went to a Pre- Departure Briefing which held in KLCC last few days,

and I were told that spoon feeding does not works in UK.

At that moment, I am feeling so sucks.

My heart was seeking for help.

I understand I have to be independent when I'm in UK.

I understand I have to manage my time and studies well when I'm in UK.

But seriously, I am an easy stress person.

One small matter can cause me insomnia like shit.

I confirm I will be very nervous in the first few week.

I also believe that all people who are going to UK for final year were independent,

and their English grammar must be good. Besides, I also trust that some of them have friends.

Seriously, I am very worry.

I also worry for coming Wednesday that I will be going to KL for applying my VISA.

I really nervous about that which I dont know why.

Time is getting tight, I am not prepared.

I started to miss these people who turning around me all day.

I need a cuddle, really :'(

Sincerely thanks for all the farewell, iloveyou.

Blogged,

| R4ND0M | * Midnight Heartstrings.

It's almost 5am.

I am tired, but I couldn't sleep.

I hardly sleep these days.

There are a lot of things running in my mind.

Somehow, I was just simply thinking a minor thing and it could make me cry easily.

Every night before I sleep, I open my horoscope app and look through about my daily luck.

It's kinda make sense with the daily luck and some comments and guide.

If I see that I'm easily to offence someone today, on that day itself, I would much more quiet compare to other days. If I see that I'm easily to have lost of money, I will put lesser cash in my wallet.

Then, I will open my days matter app and see, how many days do I left before I leave to UK for me further education. So yes, everyday, I am counting down. And I always tell myself, these are the days I left, I must spend my time with who, who, who and who. Or else, we will have to wait for 1 year later. 

But who knows, we don't know what happen next. I told the same thing to my boyfriend, I said 1 year. Who knows I fail some subjects and it extend me to 2 years? We really can't predict much. I can't promise much. I can't say much and I can't guarantee for everything. What I can do is "NOW". What I wanna spend, spend now. There are a lot of trips I went with few of my friends. I know I'm poor, I know I left not much money, but during that 1 year, I have no chance to have nice Asian food such as Penang, Melaka. 

My mom always warned me not to eat steamboat so often. But after I go to UK, where else I have the chance to had my favorite steamboat? So, I eat it all now. 

So yea, the number of remaining days always frighten me up. It always make me hardly get sleep and thinking a lot of things. There is always something running in my mind. After I go to UK, my house left my mom, the only lady. Who could chat with her when she feels lonely? My brother? But sometimes she needs a girl's talk. Who would be with her? These days she keep saying me that, I am too into my boyfriend. But come on, I left one month. It's the last day of July. There is still a lot of things I am worry about. Why does she think I can just leave like a boss? I understand, I am the only one who leaving, she can't let go but its me only. How about me? I can't let go with a group of friends and family. I am the one who missing YOU ALL badly. I will face home sick. I will feel lonely. I feel worry. Everything I have to handle myself. How can I just leave like nothing happen? My boyfriend always visit me as I already take it as a habit, as my daily routine. I am used to it. One week we doesn't meet and it's driving me crazy. I really dare not to imagine the life in UK. How much I will be missing him? How much I will be missing my friend, my family, my dog, and my home?

The winter trip in Korea, the weather is cold. Every morning I woke up, my sister would report the weather outside, how many Celsius and so. They asked me to wear more, they lend me their glove, gave me the warmer. But in UK, I will need to find out the weather myself, I will need to bring my own glove, buy the warmer myself. I'm not saying what but it's lack of the kind of caring and love, do you understand? Even the weather is so cold, someone passed you the warmer, it's very, very warm. Seriously, I will home sick, very badly.

God bless,

| 11072014 | * 一年半载。

距离出国剩下大概2个月。

口口声声说2个月，

其实，真的是2个月吗？

2个月， 听起来还有很久，

一旦打开日历看看，其实我们都知道转眼间就到了。

这个月，男朋友都比较忙，见面的时间也少了，

也许因为着急剩下的见面时间不多，他又忙碌的关系，

我变得情绪化，我的心情起伏不定，

一瞬间很开心，一瞬间很伤心。

我觉得我自己变得很野蛮，我要人家让我；

我变得固执，我变得任性。

也许，我知道，只有你们会迁就我，让我。

因为我知道，我出国就没人让我依靠。

没人肯迁就我，我也一定要变得更坚强，更自立。

男朋友也必须等到马来人新年完了才比较得空，

担心的是，那时就是8月份了。

那时，我得空吗？

我担心、我害怕的是，

那时候我忙了。

最近和朋友一大班聚在一起的时候，

脑里都会想，

明年的这个时候，我将和谁在一起？

我将和谁吃晚餐，我将和谁走街？

当功课来的时候，我将和谁一起做功课？

考试快到的时候，我将和谁一起温习呢？

.

.

.

有几位朋友告诉我，

你和你男朋友才刚开始？而且你去一年耶！真的可以吗？我看有点难维持。

的确会担心这个问题。

我担心感情变淡，是真的。

说是说一年，如果我不及格，一年半那怎么办？

不过我觉得，我应该努力去完成我的一年吧？

因为西餐，我还好。

我应该会很想念这里的火锅，肉骨茶，亚三叻沙等等。

各位，等我回来，再带我去吃好料，好吗？
男朋友，等我回来，我会给你一个很温暖的拥抱！


Blogged,
kell.

| R4ND0M | * 我爱她轰轰烈烈最疯狂？

我回来了。

我的部落格之前因为有少许的问题，我没有继续写了。

因为人家连进入我的网页也有问题。

生活来匆匆，去匆匆，

我们看见的东西，领悟的东西，累积的经验，

也都慢慢增加。

有时候人很奇妙，

明明身边有着一堆的朋友，心里却觉得孤单。

是因为陪伴的不够多吗？还是因为你心里有着一丝丝的不舍？

我不是作者，我不会写一篇很好的文章。

我只想把我的感想，我的感觉，分享给我的读者，家人，朋友。

有时我在想，就快去英国了，为什么还拼命用华文呢？

不只部落格，就连 Twitter, Facebook Status，最近我都在用华文。

出国旅行，或者几天几夜在本地游玩，

我的心会特别脆弱，我的心情会比较不稳定，尤其是当那段快乐时间快要结束的时候...

新年去韩国，快要回来的时候... 因为即将面对回工作的东西，我不舍得。

和朋友去槟城的时候，因为一点小事，我哭了。

因为想要被呵护，因为想要把心里的不平衡发泄出来，因为一些科学上解释不到的事情？

前几天还因为男朋友要出去开会我就大哭一场，

我还边哭边告诉他，我想要人家陪我。

因为姐姐搬出去了，平时当我男朋友不得空的时候，我会回家约姐姐去吃晚餐，有什么开心不开心的，搞笑的，废的，我都会和她分享。

可是现在我们能够聊的都是通过whatsapp，可以聊的东西也很有限。

如果我说我写到这里，我哭了。你相信吗？

可能我没有想过我会和姐姐有分开的一天。

也许吧？我们太相爱了。

我们太过疼爱对方了。

是因为你，我觉得孤单吗？

也许是吧。

没办法啊，我了解啊，这是人生的一个过程嘛。

又分有离。

从小的好朋友也会因为长大工作，然后有自己的家庭，自己的生活，然后少见面了。

家人也一样，小时候一起玩，手牵手一起睡觉，再让我姐姐发恶梦结果不敢再牵我手睡觉，小时候她吃着糖果，我也要吃，她就好像接吻这样用嘴巴传糖果给我。

很多很多小时候的东西，很多很多疯狂的回忆，很多..很多...

还有很多东西，我都不用去理，都是她为我解决，我连烦都不用烦。

我太依赖你了，可是现在要我突然独立起来，我怎么能够独立？

我现在已经开始很不习惯了，怎么办？

我很想回到以前，时间停留在那个时候，好吗？

我要回我的姐姐，可以吗？

我不想长大，可以吗？

当然，我很开心因为她找到在她生命里重要的那一个，

我会祝福他们，希望他们快快乐乐。

♥ kellyetan

| R4ND0M | * 梦想？

嗨！

我的部落格死了吗？

就快了，所以现在我正为它急救着。

年纪大了，生活太忙碌了。

有好几次都很想写，但就是离不开“懒”这个坏习惯。

其实我这个学期是真的超得空的。

一个星期 7 天，我只上 3 天课...

有时做下散工，赚赚外快。

很多人在这个年纪已为自己的未来做好打算，

他们为自己的未来而奋斗努力，

开始辛苦，为了得到更好的以后。

我常在想，那我呢？

我的梦想到底是什么？

我的毅力都去了哪里？

是我母亲生我下来的时候少了的一样东西吗？

为什么我没有？

就连我以后想成为一个什么样的人，做着一个什么样的工作，

我毫无头绪。

我甚至想，我读的科目到底对吗？

我还应该继续出国深造吗？

怎么办，我看不见我的未来。

| R4ND0M | * Cherish.

Recently, I've been receiving a lot of bad news from people around me.

From time to time.

Is it a very unlucky month for this February? Or a very un-smooth beginning of the year?

Well, I hope everyone is fine.

I do really hope everyone can stay strong and take care themselves.

I really wish that I could visit them.

Life is meaningful, it mean all parts of us.

Without life, we are nothing.

I always think about my grandmother when I have received news which similar related to my grandmother.

And I always think, what is their feeling when they facing their situation?

Everyone have different feelings and act in different ways.

Are they holding their hope on? Or they are trying to cherish every moment? 

I'm not sure about that.

I wish my friends could stay strong and have positive in mind.

Cherish every moment with their friends and family.

No one knows what's gonna happen the next day, the next hour, the next second.

TIME, DOESN'T WAIT FOR PEOPLE.

Do what you want to do, 

say what you want to say, 

and explore what you want to explore.

Cherish,

kellyetan

| 29012014 | * 生日快乐！

今年的生日，过得如此平凡。

我不需要礼物，我不需要盛大的派对。

今年我的，就想这么简简单单的度过。

生日前一天，我有一班很好的好朋友，称得上是我的家人，为我庆祝生日。

在素食馆，还不赖？刚好那几天都很想吃素，呵呵！

谢谢繁忙的你们，还抽空出来陪我庆生。

 

 

今年的生日，有好朋友陪我度过，有喜欢的人陪我度过，值得啦！哈哈哈。

真的非常谢谢你们！

祝福我的每一个人、想起我生日的每一个人、为我庆祝的每一个人。

谢谢你们，谢谢你们每一个人。

生日当天，和我爱的人去 Pavilion，谢谢我的男友为我付的每一分，每一毫。

谢谢你的陪伴，陪我看戏，陪我做我要做的东西，谢谢你的爱。

  

感恩，

kellyetan.

| 10012014 | * Internship Process 2

T.G.I.F!

Had enough of sleep, yay!

I'm actually went to my bed at 1030pm yesterday and awake at 230am, and then I force myself to sleep because I know today is gonna be a tiring and busy day. So yeap, I woke up at 830am and force myself to continue stay on my bed until 9am.

And then, slowly had my protein as my breakfast and surf the websites and all that.

Wasting my time like slowly.

And depart at 945am to my office, and...

.

.

.

.

.

TADAAAA!

Surprisingly text message from someone, heheh.

Never know this is serious.

Hahahah, surprise :D

Then, I reached my office at about 1015am and my boss was late.

So we actually enter the office at about 1045am.

That's like wow, late. Hahaha.

And then we start working like do some research and today we are assistant of wardrobe stylist iron man,

and what we learnt today is....................

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

IRON!

Iron and iron and iron and iron and iron and iron and non stop ironing. 

And also involve a little bit of casting today :D

Hey xiu mui mui :P

930pm, finally we are home! 

Yay, tired but good day!

Blogged,

kellyetan.

| 09012013 | * 实习之过程。

星期四了！

好眼睏的一天哪！

虽然感觉上已经睡饱饱了，但是每一天还是觉得很累，

可是给自己的理由却不合理，

不知怎么了 -.-"

今天在公司也是躺躺坐坐又一天。

繁忙时期还没到吧？

但是老板有说新年前会很忙，可能下星期吧？

这几天可以睡就要好好珍惜了！

今天和supervisor和chian去走附近的pasar malam，

我们买些吃的回公司吃。

其实我的supervisor不喜欢我们叫他supervisor，

他要我们叫他yong，但反正我跟人家说yong他们都不会懂啊，

然后就问一大堆的，说supervisor不好吗？

其实这几天发现自己讲华语好像变台湾戏流星花园那些台湾音似的，

因为我的supervisor讲华语好像还蛮标准的，

慢慢的跟他讲话就自然而然变很标准了。

不过他还蛮搞笑的，讲话挺费的。

老板呢，也不错！

很少会在他面前讲话，也不太跟他讲话，

毕竟是老板，我还蛮怕的，呵呵！

不过看得出他也很可以开玩笑。

到今天为止，我们做的东西还很少而已。

我们即将面对恐怖又繁忙的project，

然后新年了！

超期待的，呵呵！

各位加油！:)

Blogged,

kellyetan.

| 07012014 | * Fireworks.

Countdown in 22 days, and I'm turning into 22 years old.

Sounds so old, like an auntie.

So you can call me auntie instead of jiejie already.

OMG time flies like seriously.

I'm gonna tell people that i'm 22 and i'm gonna fill in whatever forms saying that im in age 22.

Is this cool?

Is this a cool year for me?

Hopefully give me a YES, please.

What have you see throughout these years,

what have you gone through these years,

what have you explore throughout these years,

it's a growing up process.

Birthday is coming soon, what should I wish for?

No idea.

But I wish that i'm not passing my birthday alone.

I mean, single.

Where's my Mr.Right?

If there is, how can I confirm that you are the one?

Aiyohhh.

This year's birthday I cant even sure am I free to celebrate due to the reason of doing internship.

And I'm going to overseas for Chinese New Year, wheeee!

And I'm more looking forward to Chinese New Year trip and house visiting :D

I love groups of friends around, have fun together.

I hate being alone :(

“ 我的心情今天已換了季　天邊出現彩虹
晴朗陽光灑在我的天空閃爍
像是笑著告訴我愛到最後是寬容 ” 

—— 烟火，光良。

I wanna be happy girl :D

Blogged,

kellyetan.