Friday, October 24, 2014

| 23102014 | * My Unclear Future.

It's almost 2 months staying outside of Malaysia without my family, boyfriend and close friends around. Still not used to it. What I do everyday is go to the class, and go home, do my exercise, skype with my boyfriend, and recently assignment has come to me and start doing assignment in my room. Although me and my boyfriend didnt chat a lot, didnt talk a lot, we both were busy with our assignment, but we just leave our skype on. Whenever we feel tired, just peek at him.

Didnt hang out a lot in here, cause I know once I go out, I will take my wallet out and get something. Although I have nothing to get but still, I will just get ANYTHING. And things here aren't cheap you know. Dont play play!

But will hang around at the Quayside for a walk, or sometimes get drinks and drink at friend's accommodation or my accommodation, chat around. In Chinese people said: "在家靠父母,出外靠朋友" which means you rely on your parents when you're at home, whereas you rely on your friends when you're out from your house. So, yea.. We'll just help each other, cheer each other no matter how. Well, yea, I miss home :'(

My sister wish that I could go back for her wedding, and my mum, at first she told me dont have to go back but now, she asked me to go back. I really dont know how to choose. I wish to go back, because that's my sister's wedding. I dont wish to go back, because I know when I leave them, I will sadly cry again. I really cannot take it since last 2 months, I will never forget that pain, that hurt, that feeling that left my love ones. I still remember, few days before I depart, I cry every night. I can simply cry suddenly, randomly. On the day I depart, I cry most of my day. I really cant take it. That's the reason why I dont wish to go back. Maybe when I back to Malaysia, I dont wanna come back anymore. I really cant live my love ones just like that, I will be so so sad. But on the other hand, I knew my sister wish that I could go back. How? It's really difficult for me to make decision. 

I always look at my countdown app on my phone, counting the number of days left that I could go back to Malaysia and meet my family, dog, boyfriend, friends, to have steamboat every week and so on. But another thing is, when the time I got back to Malaysia, it's time to look for job. And here starts the reality world. We still see reality now, but it's just part of it. I believe that once we were out to working industry, that's what REALITY starts. Everything will be your real internship, you real assignment, maybe with a strict "lecturer" with a tight "duration" to finish up your work. So worry and I find my future still in a blur picture, I cant see my future yet. Sweat =.=0

Let's see what happen in coming half year, see what UK transform me into? Hahah, that's all for my update :D


No comments :